Emotional Invalidation

Have you ever felt like your emotions were brushed off or told that you were "overreacting" or "too sensitive"?

If so, you’ve likely experienced emotional invalidation.

It’s a sneaky form of disconnect that can leave us questioning our own feelings and even doubting our worth. In today’s post, we’re diving deep into what emotional invalidation really means, how it impacts us, and how we can start healing from it. Let’s explore how to reclaim our right to feel and honor our emotions, together.

Emotional invalidation happens when someone dismisses, rejects, or minimizes your feelings. It’s like someone saying, “You’re overreacting” or “It’s not that big of a deal” when you’re feeling something deeply. It can be subtle, like a sigh or an eye roll, or more overt, like outright telling you that your feelings are wrong or unwarranted.

When someone invalidates our emotions, it sends a message that our feelings don’t matter, aren’t real, or are somehow unacceptable. This can leave us feeling misunderstood, isolated, or even questioning our own emotional experiences. 🥺

💔 Examples of Emotional Invalidation:

• “Just get over it; it’s not that bad.”
• “You’re being too sensitive.”
• “Why are you upset? There’s no reason to be.”
• “You always make such a big deal out of everything.”
• “Other people have it way worse than you.”

Emotional invalidation might seem harmless, but its effects can run deep. When we experience invalidation regularly, especially from those we care about or trust, it can lead to feelings of shame, self-doubt, and confusion about our own emotions. 😔

Imagine you're a child who’s scared of the dark, and every time you express that fear, an adult tells you, “There’s nothing to be scared of; stop being silly.” Over time, you might start to suppress that fear, thinking it's "wrong" or "silly," even though it's a very real experience for you. This can set the stage for a lifetime of pushing down feelings, thinking they don’t deserve to be heard.

Here are some ways emotional invalidation can affect us:

🌱 Emotional Suppression: We may start to hide or suppress our feelings, believing they are wrong or unworthy of expression.

🌱 Self-Doubt: Constant invalidation can make us question our own experiences and judgments, leading to confusion and self-doubt.

🌱 Increased Anxiety or Depression: When we feel like our emotions are constantly dismissed, we might develop anxiety or depression because we don’t feel safe expressing ourselves.

🌱 Relationship Issues: It can create distance and mistrust in relationships. If we feel that our emotions are not valued or heard, we may withdraw or become guarded with others.

🌱 Low Self-Esteem: If we’re consistently told that our feelings are “wrong,” we might internalize that message and start believing that we are wrong, leading to lower self-esteem and self-worth.

Emotional invalidation isn’t always intentional. In fact, many people who invalidate others’ emotions may not even realize they're doing it. Here are a few common reasons why someone might invalidate your feelings:

💡 Discomfort with Emotions: Some people feel uncomfortable with strong emotions—whether their own or others'—and may try to minimize or dismiss them as a way to avoid dealing with them.

💡 Lack of Emotional Awareness: They might not have the skills or awareness to recognize and validate emotions, either in themselves or others. This often stems from how they were raised or socialized.

💡 Misguided Intentions: They might believe they are helping by trying to “fix” the situation or offering what they see as a “more positive” perspective.

💡 Projection: Sometimes, people invalidate others' emotions because those emotions trigger something uncomfortable within themselves. They may project their own fears, insecurities, or unhealed wounds.

Recognizing emotional invalidation starts with becoming aware of how it feels in your body and mind. Do you notice a tightening in your chest? Do you feel confused or question whether you’re "allowed" to feel a certain way?

🚨 Here are some signs to look for:

• You feel misunderstood or dismissed.
• You start doubting your own emotions or experiences.
• You feel a sense of shame or embarrassment about expressing your feelings.
• You notice a pattern of someone frequently minimizing or dismissing what you feel.

Healing from emotional invalidation involves reclaiming your right to feel your feelings—ALL of them.

🌈 Here are some steps you can take to start this healing journey:

🌟 Validate Your Own Emotions: Remind yourself that your feelings are valid, no matter what they are. It’s okay to feel angry, sad, overwhelmed, or joyful. Your emotions are real, and they are yours to experience.

🌟 Set Boundaries: If someone in your life frequently invalidates your feelings, it might be time to set some boundaries. Let them know how their comments make you feel and ask for the respect you deserve.

🌟 Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Recognize that your emotions are part of your human experience and that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel.

🌟 Seek Support: Find people who can validate your emotions and experiences—friends, family, therapists, or support groups. Surround yourself with those who lift you up and honor your feelings.

🌟 Communicate Your Feelings: Let people know how their words or actions impact you. Use “I” statements, like “I feel hurt when my feelings are dismissed,” to express yourself without blame.

Emotional invalidation can leave deep wounds, but remember, you have the power to heal. 🌻 Embracing your own emotions and learning to validate them is a profound act of self-love and empowerment. As you do this, you create space for others to do the same, fostering more authentic, empathetic, and meaningful connections in your life. 💞

You deserve to feel your feelings, to be heard, and to know that every emotion you experience is valid. Let’s honor that in ourselves and in each other. ✨

What’s been your experience with emotional invalidation? How do you practice validating your own emotions or those of others? Join the discussion in my Journeys with Jeana Facebook Group. I’d love to hear from you! 🌿💬

With love and validation, Jeana 🌺